Midwife 23+4 weeks

This afternoon, I saw Jacqui - the community midwife based at my GP's surgery. She took my blood pressure (normal), tested my urine (normal) and listened to your heartbeat (lovely and strong, nice and healthy). She always manages to get some gel on my clothes, but hearing you is totally worth it.

I told her that my pelvis grinds at the back when I walk and that it's been causing me quite a lot of lower back pain. I need to be referred through Birmingham Women's to a physio for that but that she can get me an apt if I can't wait til I see them next (28 weeks). I'll see them before that anyway for my follow up apt after our heart investigations so I told her not to worry for now, I'll see how it goes. She was surprised that I had an apt at the hospital before 28 weeks so I explained about the heart checks.

I told Jacqui I wanted a homebirth and asked if it would be her team or Birmingham Women's who would look after me. She said it would be her team but that she really wouldn't recommend I have a homebirth with a heart murmur. I explained that my murmur was long standing and functional and that it had never been a problem. She said that it was still too high a risk - the increased blood volume would increase the stress on my heart anyway - not to mention the stresses of labour. Essentially, I could go from fine to the exact opposite in no time at all and I'd be an ambulance journey away from the help that could save my life - or yours, or both. She thinks there's a decent chance I won't be allowed to use the birthing unit; I may stay under consultant care for the duration. I explained that I was still waiting for my echo apt and I was hopeful to return to midwife care after the results. She apologised for being so blunt with me (she was having a bad day by all accounts) but, although I was unhappy with her answer, I appreciated her honesty.

I left the surgery more than a little disappointed - I've always imagined having my babies at home and it always seemed such an easy decision once I fell pregnant with you. That said, I wouldn't put either of our lives at risk (not that your Daddy would give me much choice if I tried to put my foot down) so if hospital is the safest option then I'll just have to make the best of it.

I spoke to Daddy, Granny and Auntie Laura (my sister that is...) and we think minimal intervention (therefore less stress on me, you and my heart) is best so if homebirth really isn't an option then I'll aim for the birthing unit. That way, we're next door to consultants who can help if we need it but I can still be left to make the birth as natural as possible if we don't need anything. If we don't need any help and everything goes as it should, then hopefully any baby brothers or sisters in the future can be born at home.